Connor is not halfway through our Agent Carter rewatch, so we thought it might be time to see what else you wanted us to recap. We’ve included the handy little poll below, so you can tell us what you think! Basia would be taking care of this rewatch, and while she’s watched both Gotham and Daredevil, she has yet to watch Penny Dreadful. So instead of a “rewatch,” you’d get to read her first-time impressions. Don’t like any of those options? Select “Other” and write us a comment telling us which show you’d like to see her watch!
Author: feminiproject
winter gothic
- The snow is two feet high. A child knocks on your door, shovel in hand, and offers to shovel the snow off of your pavement for you. His eyes are a soulless, pupiless black. You give him $20. The child vanishes. So does the snow.
Curly Hair Gothic, Part II
In case you hadn’t noticed… We’re back! Did you miss us? We thought the best way to come back from our under construction hiatus with our new URL was to do another Curly Hair Gothic post. Enjoy.
- A child notices your hair and asks if you’re a mermaid. You smile at them, showing off sharp, pointed teeth. “Something like that,” you say.
- Your hair is pulled tightly back into a ponytail. The sun is bright. The air is warm. Slowly, your hair begins to frizz, until a fine halo surrounds your head. Your hair does not appreciate the confines of its rubber band prison.
- You have finally achieved a good hair day. You smile at yourself in the mirror. Outside, thunder crashes.
- “You should straighten it,” someone says. Your hair enlarges, spirals, and engulfs them. They are never seen again.
- This is not the first time this has happened.
- Your stylist asks if you have considered straight bangs. Your hair snaps out of her grasp and snarls. She has been warned.
- You’re not quite sure why, but you strongly identify with cephalopods.
- Your hair can be shiny, too! your television tells you. Curly hair can never be shiny! objects Science. What is the truth? you wonder. There is no truth. There is only hair.
- You go for a haircut. Your hair strains and clutches at the doorframe. You fight to get inside the door. No one even glances in your direction.
- As you leave the salon, your hair curls towards the sun. It looks much healthier now. It purrs.
- Someone with perfect, curling iron-constructed curls stops beside you on the sidewalk. Your hair sniffs, then growls. Impostor, it accuses.
Autumn Gothic
You walk into a coffeeshop. The barista asks what you would like. “Pumpkin Spice Latte,” you say. You shake your head. You wanted a mocha, a chai, a shot of espresso. You open your mouth again. “Pumpkin Spice Latte,” you tell her.
Someone hands you a flyer for a hayride. You throw it away. Several blocks later, you are handed another by the same person. This continues all day. The person never recognizes you.
You go apple picking. There are apples on the trees. There are apples on the ground. No matter how many you pick, the number of apples does not change in either place.
A jack o’ lantern appears on your front step. You do not remember carving it, but it is marked with your initials near the bottom.
You are wearing orange. You are always wearing orange. You do not know where this orange sweater came from, as you cannot remember buying any. The next day, you wear orange.
The leaves cover everything. They are all over the streets, the cars, the sidewalks. They stick to your shoes. The trees do not appear to be losing any leaves. You don’t know if you’re walking on leaves at all. You peel something sticky and red from the bottom of your shoe.
Happy Halloween! someone tells you. It is September first. This continues until the end of November.
The parks are full of children jumping into piles of dead leaves. They are always jumping. The leaves are always piled. You think you must have done this in your own childhood, but you cannot recall. You walk quickly by with your head down to avoid eye contact with any of the children.
There is a full moon tonight. There is a full moon every night. You shuffle down the street a little faster, ignoring the thrill of glee that surges through you as you hear a distant howl.
Cemeteries now offer nightly haunted tours. You go and trail behind the informative guide as she tells you details about the various deceased entombed here. When the tour ends, you return to the front gate to find a tour guide, who apologizes for being late. He asks if you are ready for your tour.
You hear news reports about mysterious swarms of bats that are about at night. You are not sure where you have been, but you wake each morning to find yourself hanging upside-down from your ceiling fan.
The traffic is horrible. Oh, you think. There must be a home game. The next day, the traffic is horrible. Oh, you think. There must be a home game.
You pass a girl wearing leggings and a plaid shirt. You pass her again a few minutes later. Eventually, you arrive at class. Every girl is wearing leggings and a plaid shirt. You look down at your outfit. You are, too.
The stores are full of Halloween costumes and Christmas decorations. You can no longer tell if it is September or December. You roam the aisles endlessly, looking for a way out. Time has lost meaning.
Everywhere you go, you feel someone is watching you. You look over your shoulder but see no one. You are walking home alone one day when you turn around. That is when you see him. Shia LaBeouf.
under construction.
ATTENTION, EVERYONE. We have an announcement to make.
You remember that post we made about a week ago about curly hair? We called it Curly Hair Gothic and wrote it in the style of a meme that floated into the tumblr-sphere a few months ago. You might recall us ragging on about the trials of having curly hair, the trials of people talking to you about curly hair, the trials of wanting curly hair………… the list goes on.
In any case, the point of this isn’t that we both have curly hair. The point is that we started this blog with a very, very broad schema. In fact, it was so broad you could probably say it lacked direction. (It didn’t. We were just very Open To Possibilities. We try to be Open To Possibilities as writers. It keeps us on our toes.) It took us ages to figure out what to write in this space of ours, let alone what to call it–and somehow, despite the fact that we both liked the idea of “Femini,” it still didn’t have quite the right ring to it. Still, it was good; it was funky; it was us–so we went along with it with the full understanding that, should we come up with a better idea, we were open to rebranding ourselves.
Long story short: We’re rebranding ourselves.
Sort of. I mean, we’re still the same people. And we’re still the same blog. And mostly? We’ll still have the same content. Basia will keep recapping Batgirl comics. Connor will actually get herself in gear and finish recapping Agent Carter. We’ll alternate Frozen Fridays with places around Philly as well as the occasional vacation stop. We’ll post the occasional movie review. But instead of wandering around aimlessly, wondering what our theme is, we’ll be living up to our new name.
SO: Sit back, stay tuned, and let us know what you want to hear about. We’ll be taking about a week to get ourselves organized here until we re-launch as Curly Hair Gothic.
In the meantime, never fear! We’ll both be posting some stories up at our favorite new blog section, Anthem of the Half Employed. (We were going to call it Anthem of the Unemployed, but then Basia went and got herself a job. So.) Stay tuned for anecdotes about Basia’s new job, Connor’s most recent interview woes, cover letter tips, and other post-grad life stories. We can’t promise much, but we promise to be entertaining.
Curly Hair Gothic
You condition every day. You condition more times than you can count.
“My hair has a mind of its own,” you say. People laugh. They think you are joking. You are not joking. Your hair laughs, too.
You cannot remember the last time you washed your hair. It might have been the last full moon. For some reason, you can’t recall.
Someone asks if you have a brush. The word seems familiar, like a distant memory, but you can’t quite remember what it means.
“Comb? You mean, looking for seashells on the beach?”
You pull your hair up and reach into your bag for a bobby pin. You swear you bought a full pack yesterday, but somehow they have all disappeared.
This is not unusual to you.
You buy another pack.
You have to buy another one tomorrow.
You try every product that exists. None of them work. You think you’ve found one that works, but then it is discontinued. You are no longer sure it even existed to begin with.
Someone tells you your hair looks great today. Your hair grows ten sizes. “Thank you,” you say, stiffly. Your hair prickles the back of your neck. You force a smile. “I love my hair.”
There is always frizz. You have forgotten what it is like to live without frizz. The weather, the day, the year all change, but the frizz remains. There is always frizz.
You pull a hair off of a friend’s jacket. It is yours. It is always yours. All of your friends are covered in layers of your hair. It has always been this way.
You pull clumps of your own hair out of the shower drain, yet every day, you seem to have more hair than the day before.
You purchase every anti-frizz product at every drugstore. You can never find them after you pay for them.
Someone with straight hair tells you they wish they had your hair. “No,” you intone, while your hair rustles and grows menacingly. “You don’t.”
You finally manage to straighten your hair. It has taken hours. You cannot remember doing anything else. Perhaps you never have. You step outside. It is as if you never straightened your hair at all. Perhaps you never did.
Everyone you see with curly hair has better hair than yours. When you spot each other, you look at each other and say only, “Hair envy,” before moving on.
You ask everyone how they manage their curls. Everyone answers differently. Everyone says the same thing. You cannot recall asking anyone, but you know with certainty you have asked everyone.
Steven Universe Recaps: “Full Disclosure” & “Open Book”
blogger: Amy
Steven Universe, Season 2, Episode 1 – Full Disclosure
Spoilers for Steven Universe Seasons 1 and 2
Like Gravity Falls, I’ve stuck with Steven Universe since its premiere, and actually a bit before that. I was excited about the show from when I first saw creator Rebecca Sugar’s wonderful pilot, a few months before the show began officially airing on Cartoon Network with a major change in art style but little else otherwise.
Gravity Falls Recap: “Scary-Oke” & “Into the Bunker”
blogger: Amy
Salutations, readers! My name is Amy, an animation nerd who’s absolutely psyched to write for Femini as a (hopefully) recurring guest writer. Gravity Falls and Steven Universe are two of my all-time favorite shows, and each turn of the page in their respective stories always has something fun and interesting to offer, as their patient and passionate fanbases will tell you.
Because both shows rely on a network of slow-burning twists with clues carefully laid out over plots told mostly in episodic fashion, diving into the most recent seasons has its shares of pros and cons. It gives me the advantage of digging into the juicier plot-heavy episodes, but also the slight disadvantage of having to recap stuff from Season 1. Once I’m done with catching up on the current seasons, I will go back to the very beginning for each show to fill in any future hiatus periods which, given the wonky airing schedules for both shows, doesn’t seem unlikely.
And with that intro out of the way, let’s dig in!
Curly Hair Gothic 
